WHOLE30 IS DONE!!!

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Whewwwwww okay what a month. I am going to just apologize for totally failing to blog after like day 23 or whatever it was. I kind of got annoyed of saying the same junk every day like “I hate this blah blah blah…its horrible I know its good for me but its horrible…blah blah blah” and then there were wildfires and cranky babies and oh yeah…work…ahem. Anyway, I wanted to post an update at least, since I let everyone down on my daily chronicles. 🙂

First of all, as you get closer to the end of your journey through hell  Whole30, you start to panic a little bit. Like what is on the other side of this…like what do I do if there is cheese and I CAN EAT IT?!?!?! It causes a lot of anxiety so prepare yourselves for that. I have loosely planned to structure my diet accordingly. Grain free, and *mostly* sugar free except for I’m allowing for one cheat meal on the weekends. (By mostly, I mean I’m going to use Stevia on anything I want. It is what it is. ) I need something to live for people. I’m not going to set out to be dairy free, but what I have noticed is that you CAN eat things without cheese, so unless it needs it, like pizza, or everything… hahah no seriously, I am going to limit it, just because I want to lose a few more pounds so it will help with the calories in. So that’s my plan, mainly Paleo except for a cheater option on weekends so I can have my beloved chips and salsa and wine and cheese and everything else that God made and said “it was good”.

So now for some fun results. I was pleasantly surprised by my results. I mean I felt like I was looking skinnier kind of but you know when you look at yourself every day and all you see are the 800 wrinkles on your old mom face and the c section scar and the rolls, etc. Anyway it’s hard to know if you’re actually losing weight or just imagining things. But I did my official weigh in today, and I lost 9 pounds! That’s just one pound short of the 10 pounds that has haunted me like a dementor since I had my darling boy two and a half years ago. Pretty happy about that. I also lost 1 inch off my waist and 2.5 inches off my hips. I didn’t measure anywhere else because I don’t really care about other places. 🙂

All of this to say, the results are awesome, I can’t argue with them. But this last month was hard, horrible and basically the worst. Probably I have serious deep issues and mental instability problems but I’m just telling it like it is. I am excited about the things I have learned about the ingredients in my food, and how if you really try, you can eat wholesome, unprocessed fresh food almost all the time. I promise, you can! I was also very disturbed by how much sugar is in all of our everyday products. Its been eye opening and I’m grateful for the practice that I’ve gotten making great choices, because when you’re feeding a little one, its hard to keep focused on the nutrition that’s SO important for him, when you’re running around just trying to hold it together.

So thanks for bearing with me, for listening to me rant about how much I have a problem loving cheese, and all the other parts of this crazy 30 days. Good luck to anyone who wants to try it! I will always be here to listen to you, support you, and let you cry to me when you need it. 🙂

xoxo,

jess

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Whole30 Day 20, Day 21, 22 AND 23

I wanted to do a separate weekend post but as you can see its Wednesday and I haven’t done any of it, so I’m just going to get us all caught up here.

I had two major obstacles this weekend, and I’m happy to say I stayed compliant the whole time. This is a serious accomplishment because it involved two of my favorite things, Cajun food, and pizza. Honestly the Cajun food I was able to withstand because I told myself I can ask my mom to just make it for me every day to make up for it in a few weeks so that wasn’t so bad. The true test was the pizza, our favorite pizza place Filippis pizza doesn’t have gluten free pizza, so for the last 2 years I’ve just gotten their antipasto salad, which is amazing, but not pizza. We decided to go there from Mothers Day Dinner with my mama, and THEY HAVE GLUTEN FREE PIZZA! I Totally decided to screw it and just eat it, but thankfully I didn’t order first and by the time it got to me, I decided to be strong and just deal with the fact that for 30 days, the food wasn’t going to make me happy. Just for 30 days I can enjoy the company of others and have random special order food that fills me up and fuels me but maybe is kind of blah. Yes yes I’m eating lots of delicious veggies and fruits and that’s all great but when you’re staring a pizza in the face salad WITH NO CHEESE is not delicious. Anyway, I did it, and it was fine, I wasn’t even angry about it, which is a huge win.

So there was not much else new that happened on Monday or Tuesday, except there is a brush fire in San Diego right now, and we’re totally fine and safe, but it is a bit distracting. Like I packed a bag just in case, and I was totally thinking so do I pack hard boiled eggs? I guess Whole30 can wait until after an evacuation? I almost just ate some chips in case it was the last thing I did, but thankfully didn’t, since the fire turned west and I wasn’t in danger at all.  Anyway, as I’m posting this no structures have been harmed and the firefighters are doing a tremendous job of fighting this fire and we’re praying that these horrid early Santa Ana’s aren’t too bad today and they can maintain it. Anyway, here’s what I ate!

Saturday

Breakfast: Veggie scramble

Lunch: Grilled Hot Smoked Sausage. I asked if it had been cured with sugar or had added nitrates and the man grilling just stared at me and asked if I wanted hot sauce or not. Obviously yes.

Dinner: Sweet potato fries baked in the oven with coconut oil and sea salt and paprika, and an Applegate hot dog. This was a day of a lot of sausage I now see, but we were walking a festival for 6 hours with a toddler in the Ergo for half of it and I couldn’t move. Josh grilled the hot dog so I ate it. 🙂

Sunday
Breakfast: Strawberry and Blueberry bowl in bed for Mothers Day

Mothers Day Brunch: Scrambled eggs and bacon and pears and apples

Lunch: Avocado

Dinner: Antipasto salad with no cheese

Monday

Breakfast:

Lunch: OMG embarrasing, but I found more spaghetti squash spaghetti and ate it.

Dinner: Blackened tilapia with pepper and garlic and lemon and Costco kale salad with no dressing or cranberries. I used the Avocado Tomatillo salad and just covered everything with it.

Tuesday

Breakfast: Veggie and sweet potato hash. Just chop up some veggies I had mushrooms, zuchini, grape tomatoes and spinach, and saute it in some ghee. I peeled a sweet potato and grated it on my cheese grater and then threw it in with the veggies until it all got good and crispy.

Lunch: Avocado and 2 hard boiled eggs. This is my new favorite food. I seriously can’t get enough of it.

Dinner: Taco Salad with ground beef cooked down with onion, pepper and garlic, and seasoned with salt, cumin, cayenne, chili powder, oregano and black pepper. I also made guacamole with avocado, cilantro, green onion and a jalapeno and covered it all with salsa again. I would also like to point out that I made tacos for my husband with perfect tortillas and didn’t even steal a bite. True love is making tacos for someone when you can’t have them.

xoxo,

jess

Whole30 Day 19

Whew what a weekend.  I will do my Weekend Update and post by tonight, but this one is a long one so I wanted to just get this one out there. 🙂

Friday was a magical day. I had my bestie and husband tag teaming my nugget for me so I could go to LA to see one of my best friends who was in town visiting. The plan was for myself and another bridesmaid to be there as she tried on wedding dresses for the first time.  And it was magical.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bridal salon….

We’ve been friends almost 10 years and seen each other through pretty much everything, and even met my now husband and her future husband the same summer. (They were friends…. Long story and small wonderful world ❤ )
Her  guy surprised her with an engagement at her 30th birthday party, AFTER he secretly created the most amazing birthday video of all of her Australian BFFs , as well as coordinating one of them to surprise her for the weekend. He is a keeper, that’s for sure. It’s rare to see your friend who is like a sister to you with someone who makes her  THAT happy and that makes me happy in a deep part of my soul. It was straight from a movie and still in the top five happiest days of my life.

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Claire-Bear the Bride to Be, and her other Bestie Courtney on the right.

Anyway we had an amazing time trying on dresses and then had dinner at SUR a beautiful restaurant at the center of a Bravo reality show which is amazing. And lucky us, the show was filming, so I got to take my first picture ever with a reality tv star! Yes!

Everything about this photo is amazing.
Everything about this photo is amazing.

The sad news is I also cheated on my Whole30….. I had a martini and a tiny crabcake. I decided it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a drink and celebrate the moment so I did it. I felt really fine about the decision until I was on the way home and I honestly felt like I had betrayed my country or something. I’m talking deep dark guilt here people. Thankfully for me I had a two hour drive to analyze the whole thing, and I came to a few conclusions.

One, preoccupation with food choices and a cycle of guilt and shame and more bad choices run deeply in me. To think that I have gone 19 days without any grains, alcohol, legumes, dairy of any kind and no sugar save for just a spoon of stevia in my coffee every day is kind of amazing. A great accomplishment, at least for me,  and the way I felt after my cheating was as if I had been sober for years and went on a alcoholic bender. Or committed treason. Or adultery. Something really horrible.

Two, I realized that the reason why there is no mercy in the Whole30 program, why they demand perfection, why there is no “cheat day” is because they are trying to break the cycle of guilt and shame that starts out with “Wow I had a martini and blah blah blah-whatever-else-I-shouldn’t-have….that sucks I feel bad, I’m going to eat this whole pan of brownies now because I suck so much.” I realized this is my pattern, to try and try and try to make good healthy food choices, but then make one or two bad ones and then spiral into a week of sneaking m&ms and eating french fries alone in my car. And then try and try again, mess up, again and again and again. It seems like a no brainer, I mean, there’s a reason I’ve been losing and finding the same 10 pounds for a year and a half now, but its a lot to deal with and figure out about yourself.  I returned home Friday night and there was a box of half eaten pizza that my boys had enjoyed while I was gone, and I had to literally run into my bedroom and pull the covers over my head so I would not eat the rest of the box since I had already screwed up so bad. I begged Josh to get it for me, even from under the covers and that perfect man just laughed and told me, “No, that’s what cheaters do. They keep on cheating. You’re not a real cheater. That was like a fake fun cheat. So no,  no pizza.” Love him!

I managed to survive the guilty feelings and cheat no more the rest of that night, and I even survived the rest of the weekend with no cheating. 🙂

I struggle with the Whole30 tenets that have no mercy and no room for error, but I realize why it helps to have a good 30 days of it under your belt before you go out in the world and allow yourself to try the fun things again without letting it control you or the rest of your week.

All of that being said, it is TOTALLY against the rules of Whole30 to cheat. If you willfully break the rules, you have to start over, no exceptions. I decided to just carry on anyway, since at this point there’s no way I’m lasting another 30 days AFTER this, so even though I’m technically going to be on “day 1” again tomorrow, I’m just going on to Day 20.  Sorry-not-sorry, I’ve always had  rough time with rules. 🙂

Here’s what I ate:

Breakfast: Veggie and egg scramble

Lunch: Double hamburger patty with a tomato and wrapped in lettuce with bacon

Dinner: Grilled vegetables, grilled shrimp, amazing forbidden tiny crab cake and delicious forbidden martini

Whole30 Day 18

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Today was a busy day in the office, so not as much time for thinking about the food I would rather be eating. Bonus! I even avoided anything forbidden at Oggis pizza where I met my family to pick up my nugget as my aunts and uncle are in town for our annual LeBlanc Gator Fest Extravaganza. I had lemon water. Talk about good. 🙂

The fun adults are partying it up at a blues concert tonight while I went home and I snuggled my nugget and watched Little Einsteins. We’re all going to the festival as one big happy family on Saturday and I CANNOT wait. It’s an annual Mothers Day Tradition and any time we do anything that reminds me of my grandparents I’m a happy girl.

Now the food is going to be the challenge. If I find something Whole30 compliant to eat at a Cajun festival, it will be a miracle worth instagramming and hash tagging. We’ll see, I’ll probably be the annoying nerd wheeling a cooler full of chicken and hard boiled eggs.

No new fun developments to report or exciting side effects of this process. I actually felt pretty dizzy and tired today for some reason I think I didn’t get enough water early in the morning or something. Anyway, I chugged some bottles at home and I’m doing fine now. I can’t believe I’m almost 2/3ds of the way done with this thing!

Here’s what I ate….
Breakfast: coconut cream Larabar

Lunch: kale salad greens with grilled chicken breast and my Costco salsa. (I am OBSESSED I get really fixated on things…. Sorry it’s a thing) and an avocado. I also ate jicama which I have discovered is my favorite dipping vegetable. It’s not even close to the deliciousness of a chip, but it’s crunchy and mild and is totally yummy so it works!

Snack: Fuji apple and I totally had almond butter I wanted to try but it had evaporated cane juice in the ingredients that I missed in my crazed stupor of shopping alone the other night. When you’re not used to grocery shopping in perfect silence and peace it can be unnerving and awkward. And you might buy cane juice almond butter.

Dinner: leftover Spaghetti from last week…. Ummm side note not sure if it’s still good, but it tasted yum and smelled good so I went for it. Thursdays are hard with getting off work late and Josh’s classes. Fending for myself usually gets creative.

xoxo,
jess

Whole30 Day 16

So I’ve been hesitant to discuss this here just because I don’t know what’s like nice and appropriate these days because I’m up early and go to bed late and have conversations about kid poop and the disgusting things I find in Masons neckmeat, so I really have no barometer or what is okay or not so I’m just going for it.

It did occur to me when I started this Whole30 that 30 days would inevitably include a period. I mean, there is just no getting around it, I’m pretty much 27 days, like clockwork so I could not escape. This fury visited me this week and I will say there is no deeper level of hell than your period on Whole30.

Okay, so there are some nice things that I’ve noticed. And I will start with the good parts, as I see them, in the interest of being fair. I usually get pretty debilitating cramps on day 1 and 2 of each cycle, and this time, not a darn thing. I mean no backache, no cramps, no nothing. So that is a HUGE bonus. I also generally break out a bit right before, and my skin is still super clear and no problems. So those parts are great!

The parts that suck are as follows: you can’t have french fries, pizza, ice cream, chocolate of any form, etc. Also I was in a bad mood to start off with and THIS did not help. Josh actually finally said last night, “I am ready for you to be done with this. Officially. I am done.”. Poor thing, he usually doesn’t have very many opinions about the weird stuff I do, so this is saying a lot.

Here is why I am frustrated about this. All of the materials I read about the program even my daily emails I subscribed to make promises of FEELING better. And I’m not really getting that, except as I’ve mentioned more consistent energy and no headaches. But cripes Harry, I want to be doing high kicks and dancing to the music I hear in my mind at this point if I’m going to be a cheese-less, sugar-less, grain-less, alcohol-less machine. Then I feel bad, like maybe I have something really deeply wrong with me that I am not happier about all of these changes. Which probably, duh, but I already felt bad enough about myself, this wasn’t intended to add more fuel to the fire.  Anyway, here is my rant for the day, Day 16, done and in the books. As a side note, even in the face of the annoyance of not feeling great and kind of hating everything about this, I will not give up. As bad as I feel right now I feel like it would be worse to give up.

So, day 17-30, I’m coming for you.

 

Here is What I Ate:

Breakfast: chopped veggies sauteed in ghee, preservative and nitrate free sausage

Lunch: Which Wich salad with turkey, a ton of veggies, avocado and mustard

Dinner: Roasted chicken breast on Costco Sweet Kale Salad with no cranberries and my obsession Avocado Tomatillo salsa

 

Whole30 Day 17

Okay, so I’m so behind I don’t have time for rants, but Day 17 was nicer than Day 18. 🙂 Except that Mason stole my snack of raw cashews  in the afternoon and that was a low point of our day. Actually it wasn’t even the lowest point of the day. That comes during dinner. Read on to find out how awesome it was. 🙂

 

Here is what I ate

Breakfast: Veggie hash, and uncured preservative free sausage again 🙂

Lunch: My tuna/avocado mix on Costco Kale salad with balsamic vinegar

Dinner: Grilled Tilapia with lemon, Tony’s and garlic, grilled asparagus with olive oil and salt and pepper and a zucchini/carrot hash that was an accident. 🙂 My darling husband called to see if he could start dinner since I was running behind, and I asked him if he would julienne the two zucchini in the fridge and put it in a pan to stir fry it. I got home and bless his heart he used our cheese grater because he thought I just “wanted” a julienne peeler, he forgot I had one. 🙂 So as it was cooking, it got a little mushy so I threw in shredded carrots and turned into a hash of sorts. I thought it was pretty tasty, but when I forced my toddler to eat some of it (he has to eat a little bit of everything on his plate every night), he forced himself to gag and then proceeded to vomit the entire dinner he had previously eaten.  Pretty much summarizes my day in a nutshell.

Snack: I ate dates rolled in coconut and an apple with almond butter flavored with 100%cacao. This is definitely in the no SWYPO section of the Whole30 plan, and I immediately felt horribly guilty almost like I had committed some huge sin against humanity. Talk about issues with food! It was a rough hour or so but I decided that if cacao in the almond butter kept me clean for the rest of this thing….then so be it. Don’t get me started on the Instagram war on “cheating” on your Whole30. People are passionate about their rules for  food!

Whole30 Day 15

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This ecard says Day 5…..but this is still how I feel on Day 15. Yay for me. Also, all  day I had my favorite Bon Jovi song in my head. Whoaaaaaaaa we’re half way thereeeee..whoaaaaaa livin’ on a prayerrr. (Dragged out syllables added since that’s the only way you can sing that song. Usually after a few drinks. Mmmmm. Drinks.) And this song is no joke either, I am living on a prayer especially since my Day 15 fell on CINCO DE MAYO!!!! Any holiday that celebrates with Mexican food is a top holiday in my book. I wasn’t sure how I was going to persevere with this craziness with chips and guacamole and delicious cheese taunting me at every turn, but I did it. It wasn’t pretty, but it happened.

I also wanted to talk a little bit more about our weekend. This week we got to celebrate the birth day of a very special little boy, JackJack as he’s commonly known to us. Jack had a bit of a rough start when he first showed up here 3 years ago. I’ll let his mom write a long overdue blog post about everything they’ve overcome, but its been a long road, covered in grace and faith and miracles.  His mama had a rough time bringing him safely into this world as well and its easy to forget all of those things when you see this perfect healthy boy running laps around you these days. But the truth is that he is a miracle, his mom is a miracle, and we’re all just getting to live in this wonderful, amazing blessing because they’re both here and happy and healthy. I just wanted to take a few moments to reflect on God’s goodness to us, and be thankful for the times when my prayers are answered the way that I want them to be answered. Life doesn’t always work like that, and I get weepy every time I think about how grateful I am that in this case, they did.

Okay on to the annoying point of this blog….What I ate:

Breakfast: Do not judge me but it was a delicious Larabar for breakfast. I keep saying I need to plan out my breakfasts…and I actually do mean it. And then I ate another Larabar on my way to go home to work. True confessions.

Lunch: I decided to try to recreate a super good tuna chopped salad I used to get in my former life at the brewery downstairs from my office. It has olives and chunks of cucumber and tons of red onions and tomatoes on top of all kinds of leafy greens. I grabbed some albacore tuna, mixed in an avocado, half a lemon, Tony’s, salt and pepper and chopped up green onions, celery, cucumber and tomatoes. I ended up only using half of this mixture on my mixed greens salad, and I put a lot of balsamic vinegar on it. It was almost as good as the brewery, although usually that version comes with fries… 🙂

Dinner:

Cinco de Fail. No not really, it’s just hard not to be dramatic when I love chips and cheese so much. I ordered a carne asada burrito with only fresh pico de gallo inside, and dumped the contents of the burrito onto an awesome salad my mom made with all kinds of leafy greens, broccoli, carrots, cilantro and tomatoes. I also made some homemade guacamole, but we were out of my usual ingredients so we used avocado, green onion and jalapeno and it was the bomb.com. Seriously, so good. I resorted to eating it with celery sticks because it made me feel like I was still dipping even though dipping a vegetable into a vegetable is super weird to me.

 

And that’s all for Day 15!!!!

xoxo,

jess